2 stories released

Here are two stories:

Jimmy's not good at trusting people. He grew up a chimney sweep and starving alleyway scruff. Even now, fully grown and an army veteran to boot, he's half-wild and only trusts one man, "the boss," a gentle man he works for occasionally. Jim certainly never intends to trust anyone else, but then he ends up working an investigation job for the boss next to a scarred ex-soldier with surprisingly gentle ways.

A touch of mystery, low sexiness, light steampunk elements. 

~21,000 words

This one's launching at 99 cents and will go up in a few days.

In a dark fantasy world, a slave is reluctantly rescued by an innkeeper, and the two men grow and change together.

6,000+ words 

Heat level: low 

Happy ending: yes 

Angst: oh dear yes 

This one will be free from April 24-28 so download your copy then if you think you'll want to read it someday.  :)  Regular price is 99 cents, but it's rather short, and I'd like to say "thanks" to all my great readers so hope you can get it while it's free. 

Decisions...

Lately, having my Spare Words Press books exclusive to Amazon has brought me better sales.  It's how I started, because that was the only way I knew how to publish, and it has become clear that my SWP stories generally sell better if they're exclusive to Amazon.  (I'm still trying to figure out why one Dreamspinner book does better than another, so I'm sure things are complicated!)  

But, since I'm strapped for time now anyway, and the money does matter at this point, perhaps always will...these two stories are exclusive to Amazon for now, and perhaps forever.

BUT...if you need a different format, please just email me and I'll send it to you.  Or you can convert it yourself, but I know that's a lot of trouble.  

I'm sorry for the inconvenience if you don't read on the Kindle.  I do love you all, ever single reader, but this is a financial + time decision right now, and maybe things will change someday.  I'm sorry again if it's more trouble for you.  You can reach me at MY EMAIL anytime.

Hugs & love, Hollis

Hello my dears.  How are you?  I've been quite ill recently, but fortunately I'm doing much better now.  I'm writing a lot, I'm eating fresh spinach, and I'm trying to get my strength back!

I had a lot of time to read while I was getting well and one of the things I read was the fabulous PsyCop series by Jordan Castillo Price.  (A lot of them were on Scribd so I could read them with my subscription.)  I kept thinking I would stop reading after the next chapter...then the next book.  And not stopping!

Also, is anyone else really anxious to find out what happens to TJ and Amal?  This is a gay romance comic I started reading and thought I could take it or leave it, but now I check multiple times a week just in case it's been updated early....

I have some more stories coming (two should be up in the next couple of days).  I'll post about them soon.  Let me just leave you with the cover for an upcoming release of mine, made for me by Victoria Davies:

Barney Miller

I love Barney Miller!  It's a police station sitcom from the late seventies and early eighties.  It's a character-oriented show, so you get to know the characters, laugh at and with them, and enjoy it more for the humor than anything else.  Lots of guest stars, often playing quirky criminals, and sometimes on for more than one time each.

The characters are standouts.  Barney is the head of the station, Captain Barney Miller.  He has a big mustache, an infectious smile, and a gentle way of living.  He's a big tough guy but he's very empathetic and kind.  He cares about justice, the law, and giving people the benefit of the doubt when possible.  He's just a stand-up guy who sets the tone for the station: he's the responsible parent figure who guides people in the right direction.  It makes him sound rather dull, so I'm not explaining very well, because he's pretty funny, too.  All the characters are.

My favorite character is Wojo.  He's a big, ex-Marine, quick to anger, and yet he's such a gentle-hearted guy, who more often than not wears his heart on his sleeve.  It's Wojo the audience often ends up identifying with, because in some ways he's still a big wide-eyed kid, surprised by lots of stuff even when he's being tough.  He admits once, when they ask if he's going home for Christmas, that that stuff doesn't mean anything to him.  He wouldn't want to go back and see his old man, doesn't have good memories of growing up under his iron fist.  This tough ex-Marine has better memories of his time in the service than his own home growing up.  But you take one look at him interacting with the captain, and you say, "Ah.  He's found his father."  He trusts Barney with everything in his life, clearly adores him, comes to him with anything, and wants to be like him, even if he finds Barney's gentle ways confusing sometimes.  Wojo is quick to judge, but also quick to care, and willing to change his mind if he's wrong.  He's macho and tender and emotional and sensitive, a complex and sweet character, and really handsome with a cute, goofy smile that's very fetching.

I must admit I don't care much for Dietrich.  He's not in the earliest episodes, but eventually replaces Chano, who's very emotional and Puerto Rican.  Dietrich is not emotional.  He doesn't connect with people, no matter how hard he tries.  He's not a bad guy--he's wryly funny, intelligent, and caring in his own way.  I don't think he has a mean bone in his body.  But he has never, and will never, fit in with the rest of the precinct.  It's like they're playing one scene and he's playing another, every single time.  I have a strong, cringing reaction to that, because I feel like that a lot.  I hate feeling that way, and I think I take it out on Dietrich.  "Oh, just shut up, Dietrich!  Nobody's talking about that anymore!  You're just embarrassing yourself!"  (It's the kind of show that I end up talking to the characters on the screen.)

Then there's Harris.  I've always secretly wondered if Harris is gay or bi.  The show never hints that he is, but something about the way he carries himself, tosses his head, purses his mouth, and cares more about how he looks (always amazing, because he spends too much on fashion) than anything else, just gives me the vibes to wonder.  He's always shown as safely hetero, and only interested in black women, of course. (I suppose any interracial romance was too controversial even for that show at the time?)  I have a soft spot for Harris, who gets aggravated about so many things, little or big, and who is a passionate writer and hopes to be published 'for real' someday.  (He's furious when a smutty magazine butchers his "sensitive portrayal" story and turns it into porn, but eventually, reluctantly he's proud even to see his work in print there.)  He does write on the job, though, and shouldn't get away with it--but somehow he always manages!  He's very intelligent, but seems to use only a fraction of his brainpower for his job.  He also never approves of anyone else's fashion choices!

There are lots of other characters, of course, many recurring.

I love the way the show can tackle things and make you think and laugh at the same time.  At least it did for me.  It tackled social issues and gave us lovable characters, sometimes even in the criminals.  It showed the working life of the cops, having to deal with weird issues, make the best of things, and function as imperfect people in an imperfect world with an imperfect justice system--all while maintaining as much humor as they could and going home at the end of the day to come back tomorrow, drink bad coffee, and start all over again.

Some of them hate their jobs, some love their jobs, some just punch the clock and do their best.  But Barney is there, the father figure, helping them through, showing compassion on as many people as he can, and trying to solve the smaller problems without involving the court whenever he can get people to talk to each other.  You can't agree with everything in the show, and wouldn't try to, but just to be able to think and laugh and see people as complicated, weird, and human, both good and bad, is great.  It can be broad brush, but then they turn around show you another side to people, and it can be really beautiful.

I loved the way the show handled gay people, too.  For me, it gave me a safe place to think about this, to laugh at and secretly come to care about the characters, even when I wasn't in a place to admit I needed to think about this stuff at all!  The main gay character who showed up on several occasions was Marty, a middle-aged kleptomaniac, rather swishy, and lived with his mother.  He was, in some ways, a mess.  And in other ways, he was gentle and compassionate and wry and funny and wise.  He had a serious conversation once with a suicidal man, talking to him very gently and seriously about how he once came really close to killing himself, but realized it was better to live, no matter who he was on the inside.  No matter how different he was.  I had to stare very hard at the screen and fight back a lump in my throat, trying not to let it show how much that affected me.

And other times the show lets us unabashedly laugh at his arched eyebrows or speaking looks, his bad habits or oddities, and somehow that made me love him too.  If you can laugh with and at someone and listen to them too, it's a beautiful thing, or at least for me it was.

Later we meet Marty's boyfriend, a less interesting character, as well as a brief appearance from a gay cop (who blows Wojo's mind because he doesn't "look" gay), and a gentle, hirsute Russian orchestra conductor who wants to seek asylum in America because he's gay.  The way the other characters react to the gay characters is shown as important.  Barney doesn't really understand, but he tries to treat everyone with respect, including the gay characters, and he's angry when he hears about them being intimidated and shaken down by a cop (who turns out not to be a cop).  Marty tells his friend/boyfriend that he knew they could come to Barney about this.  He was right!  Barney won't put up with that shit in his city.

Wojo, the one the audience often identifies with, is the most interesting in this department.  He's not gay friendly.  At all.  He finds gay men scary, gross, and just weird.  But he wants to be like Barney, so he tries to understand, to wrap his mind around what is so foreign to him.  And, what makes you love him most of all, is when he can admit to Barney that the reason he's so uncomfortable is because he's afraid.  He wonders about what makes a man "like that," and if he could be.

How many straight men are uncomfortable around gay men because of fear--and how many of them would be brave enough to admit it?  To actually tackle those feelings and try to think about them and the way he treats people.  Wojo does that.  Just admitting the fear starts to free him from it, even if he never quite gets to a place of trusting or liking the guys.  "He's the one I told you about," says the main gay character, when he brings his friend/boyfriend in, and they both look at Wojo, very aware of his gorgeous physique and his distrustful attitude.

They get the last laugh when the obnoxious, hateful, drunken inspector Luger comes in one time, though.  He keeps trying to convince everyone he's NOT gay, while talking about the "sweet guys" he used to work with and falling all over himself to add he loved them, but "not like that," and making an issue out of it when nobody else cares at all.  He runs at the mouth, and he's annoying and judgmental and unkind to pretty much everyone.  (But Barney treats even him kindly.)

And as he's saying all these things to prove he's not gay, that there's nothing "wrong" with him, the gay men are just patient and don't say anything.  But the looks they exchange, the looks they give him--just mild, eyebrow raising, slightly skeptical looks--oh, does that make him uncomfortable.  He doesn't have to prove anything to anyone.  It's his own insecurity that makes him go on and on.  And WE can see that.  We're in on the joke with the gay couple, even though Luger NEVER gets it!  It's beautiful, because the man totally deserves a comeuppance once in a while, and he never gets a better one.

Ah, clearly this show holds a lot of memories and feelings for me!  Even though I still haven't seen every episode.  It's the kind of show where I know the characters by name and talk about them as if they're real.  And it's a show that, oddly, helped me to get more comfortable talking and thinking about "gay things" by letting me laugh at, laugh with, listen to and really hear, and learn to love a couple of flawed, gentle, weird, and very human gay characters, as well as see how others reacted to them and why--and to think about all of those things, in the "safe" confines of Captain Miller's precinct run with compassion and humor.

I still wonder about Harris, though.  His gorgeous strut, his sweet ass, and his pretty clothing always made me wonder....

I don't think a writer always gets to pick what they write.  (Or perhaps I just mean *I* don't.)  That probably sounds weird, and I guess it is a little, but a lot of writing seems to take place in the subconscious, the creative side of the brain, and telling it what you ARE GOING to write now doesn't always seem to work.

The best thing seems to be convincing that shy, creative side that it's okay to come out and play, to write whatever it wants, and that it's safe and nothing bad will happen.  That's not always true, of course.  But it's best to live like it is.  Because the alternative is not tapping into the creative side nearly often enough.

I've told myself, "It's time to start another book in the Brian's Mate world."  My subconscious, my creative side, shook its head and looked stubborn.  I told it, "Look, it doesn't even have to be about those characters.  Just sit there.  Just try."

No, I want to play.

Brian's Mate WAS playing.  I'm still kind of surprised that anyone enjoyed it.  But I don't, apparently, want to play in that world anymore right now.  I hope I will someday.  I'd hate to say goodbye to it forever.

Lately, I'm working on stories with light steampunk elements.  It's just what's inspiring me lately.  Oh, also, more Max and Jamie.  I know, I know.  But I just keep needing to write about them.  Whether all of what I write will ever see the light of day remains to be seen!

I also have a short, angsty fairy tale sort of story coming out soon.  My subconscious wanted to write it.  I said, "It's too dark, too much sadness.  Write something happy."

Want to write sad stuff.

"Okay, fine.  Write the sad stuff.  Then write something happy.  Maybe more Levi and Jett?  They're happy now, so you could--"

No.  Sad stuff.  Sad stuff and steampunk.  Also sad.

"But happy endings, right?"

...Okay.  Happy endings.

I'll settle for that for now.